Friday, December 01, 2006

Whoops – here I am! Sorry, I haven’t posted in almost two weeks and I've been more or less incommunicada. I’m just having a bit of trouble resurfacing after the opera. After a show is over and done, with all that enormous creative and energetic output condensed into a very short time, often I’m right into prep for a new one with my gigs overlapping or back-to-back. Otherwise, I have a weird sort of “after-the-party’s-over” period of adrenaline withdrawal and I get a bit hibernatory for a couple of weeks before returning to my usual sociable self.

I was planning to go to SnB last week, but late in the afternoon I realized that I want to stitch, but not to bitch: I’m just not feeling very sociable in the broad, room-full-of-loose-acquaintances kind of way. If it was just a couple of close pals, sure, but I was’t in the mood for the whole clacking gaggle. Instead of SnB, hubby [hobby?] and I just spent a lovely night crafting together, weaving and knitting, listening to music, cooking together, and then (at midnight) we decided to watch Harry Potter #4 on the Movie Network.

To anyone who has been concerned, I want reassure you that I'm fine. Well, maybe "fine" is not quite the right word, but that's the short answer anyhow. My Secret Pal sent me a few questions and since the answers pretty much sum up my situation right now, I'll just post them here:

Happy December!
I am in complete and total denial - I refuse to believe it is already December. When/how did that happen? I still haven’t packed away my flip-flops! Much as I love both early-fall and mid-winter sweater weather for the inspiration/motivation (both the snuggling and the knitting), I always have a tough time adjusting to the change of seasons in the late fall. I just can't find a way to feel warm. Despite being physiologically, er, very “well-insulated”, I have a bitter aversion to extreme cold and particularly hate the kind of damp wet cold we’re getting right now. I much prefer 20F, but sunny and dry, to 45F and soggy. That’s aside from the seasonal affective (sun-deprived) humdrums and the imminent desperate online search for specifications and materials to build an ark… Is there a kit you can order? (It has to be mail order - I am so not going out shopping in this weather!)

So, I'm shopping for swag for your next package, and I'm wondering...Are you a cat person or a dog person? I don't mean "do you have pets" but rather when you're buying cutesy themed things, do you like things with kitty stuff or doggie stuff or neither? I realize now that it sound like I'm going to send you some horrible coffee mug with a kitten hanging on a branch that says "Hang In There!" or something awful like that, but rest assured we're talking about something useful AND tasteful.
I regret to inform you that I am highly averse to “kitty” and “doggie” stuff both, and anything “cutesy” goes straight into the re-gift/donate/recycle box. However, as an alternative, may I suggest that any variety of “bear” goes over VERY well with both DH and me. We have a belovedly anthropomorphized, adorable yet dignified teddy bear (surrogate child) who sleeps between our pillows and is (sometimes jealously, as in: “don’t Bogart the bear!” or “hey, I’ve been bear-napped!”) shared between us. When he learned that I had been bear-deprived in my childhood (I had other stuffed toys and dolls, but sadly there were no bears) DH got him for me for my 21st birthday (wow – that’s half my life ago!) and he’s become symbolic to us of the love and family we share. I will admit it took three days post-adoption for us to figure out his name, which I am not at liberty to disclose. We both see changes of expression on his face – I swear I’m not making this up. We are a one-bear family. We learned this the hard way several years ago when someone vey thoughtfully presented us with another lovely bear and after several weeks we decided to find her another home as it was unfair to keep her if we couldn't love her as much as we do our cub. Should we ever bring our own human cub into the mix (this topic is still up for debate) we will of course provide them with their own bear. This one is ours.

Also, I'm respecting your wish not to get drawn into the world of spinning, but are you one of those people who says "I really don't want to" and means "I'd love to but I need a little push" or do you really not want to try spinning? I'm more than happy to be an enabler, but I don't want to be a pusher. :)
About the spinning – I admit to a desire to do that someday, so I would not regret being enabled into a very small (inexpensive!) entry-level spindle, and maybe just a little roving to play with, but I make no promises about how soon it might be used: could be on arrival, could be several months. I have numerous immediate knitting hills to climb and I’m a champion procrastinator. If I add another crafty pursuit, albeit fiber related, the potential for distraction is guaranteed to hamper current endeavors... My but you are a sneaky one! I see right through your nefarious plan. I'll bet you think that if (okay, when) you hook me on spinning, I'll have even less time to go blog-trolling and then I'm even less likely to uncover your secret identity. Nice try, MacSly!

How's everything going for you?
As you may recall, I’ve been mucking out the psychological stables to find my own personal pony and I’m making emotional space for that to resume. I'm a card carrying member of the Walking Wounded Society. I've endured the dark regions in my soul for much of my life. Sometimes I felt well and did a remarkable imitation of happy health, but there were times I was sure the light at the end of the tunnel was nothing but an oncoming train. I am fortunate to recognize the demon on my back - so many don't and they succumb to its destructive influence. I am blessed to have a loving personal support system at home and a community of soul-sisters, friends both face-to-face and online, who care for me. It's two steps forward, one step back, but I'm working to shine the light into all the dark places in my soul, addressing the roots and the symptoms bio-chemically, nutritionally and psycho-therapeutically. And I can testify that there are creative and spiritual advantages to a legacy of born of hurt - you can transform it, reclaim your natural joy and vitality, and the hardest-won wisdom will become a profound source of truth, strength and peace.

I saw that you've brought your DH over to the Knit Side...
Well, he is an ardent admirer of the knitting mysteries and now a bona-fide fiber-junky. He’s totally hooked on weaving and his delight is a joy to behold. Since we are both night owls and neither one of us occupationally-afflicted in the usual 9-to-5 sense, we are spending many nights just hanging out until 2 or 3 a.m. with a movie or some music, with me ensconced on my corner of the sofa knitting away and DH on his chair happily teaching himself new woven patterns on the simple kiddie frame-loom.

... wish I could get mine interested. Maybe the handknit socks I'm making for him will turn him...(that's not a clue -- I'm knitting the socks for Christmas, so I haven't mentioned them on my blog. Now, that might be a clue...).
Yeah, I can see how the handknit socks you’re making for your hubby might be a clue. Gee, thanks ever so much. That should narrow it down to about a hundred or two hundred blogs! Sheesh.

1 comment:

2D Girl said...

My Friend, welcome back. It is good to hear (read) from you.