Friday, August 31, 2007

As seen on a couple of my groups.
Finally - a rational explanation for my yarn-addiction.
A recent study indicated, that Yarn and thread gives off certain Pheromones that actually hypnotize women and cause them to purchase unreasonable amounts.

When stored in large quantities, in enclosed spaces, the Pheromones (in the yarn), cause memory loss and induce the nesting syndrome, (similar to the one squirrels save, before the onset of winter, i.e. the storing of food), therefore perpetuating their species and not having a population loss due to their kind being cut into pieces and mixed with others.

Sound tests have also revealed, that these yarns, emit a very high-pitched sound, heard only by a select few, a breed of women known as "loomers." When played backwards on an LP, the sounds are heard as chants, "buy me, loom me, and wind me into a ball".

In order to overcome the so called "feeding frenzy effect," that these yarns cause, one must wear a face mask when entering a storage facility and use ear plugs, to avoid being pulled into their grip. (One must laugh, however, at the sight of customers in a yarn store, with WW2 army gas masks and headphones!). Studies have also indicated, that aliens have inhabited the earth, helping to spread the effects, that these yarns have on the human population. They are called "YARN STORE CLERKS".

It's also been experienced, that these same Pheromones, cause a pathological need to hide these yarn purchases when taken home (or at least blend them into the existing stash.) When asked by a significant other if the yarn is new, the reply is, "Oh, I've had it for awhile."

Author Unknown
Addendum: What then would be the rationale for those of us who are, as one fiber-wag coined so aptly, "fiber cyber-shoppers"?
I am equally weak before the mesmeric effects of online fiber... just imagining the soft and squooshy yarn in my hands and seeing all the pretty pretty colours... oh, baby!... yes! Yes! YES!

1 comment:

Carol said...

That would suggest there is a visual component to the situation. Which means you would have to wear a gas mask, Ipod and blinders? Kinda defeats the purpose, eh?